Learning to Cope

This summer has been great so far, with my thyroid issues and everything. I have great friends and family that are helping me cope. In my own personal study, I came across this thought by James E Faust:

"Why is adversity often such a good schoolmaster? Is it because it teaches so many things? Through difficult circumstances we are often forced to learn discipline and how to work. In often unpleasant circumstances we may also be subjected to a buffeting, a honing and a polishing that can come no other way".

Thoughts like these from people like him are tremendously helpful in my learning to cope with sickness journey. Guess what? The journey has kind of been a blast.

Other things helping me cope? Those cute kids pictured above, and their Daddy(not pictured).

Ooofff

I was reading one of the million essays that Harrison has written this school year. In one of them, he explains how on a field trip, he fell and skinned his knee and subsequently said, "Ooofff", cause it hurt. But he got back up and kept on truckin'.

Well, recently, I have fallen and down and did not say, "Ooofff"....it was probably more like, "@%$#*". Really, I need a swear jar. Anyway. Moving on from my weakness, let's discuss what has happened lately that has made me snarl, "Ooofff".

1. LOST is over. Seriously. Ooofff. I am so very sad. Like, way too sad to be logical. I cried as I watched my beloved "friends" vanish from my screen forever. This show is so beautiful, and character driven that I loved the way it wrapped up, even if other die hard fans didn't. Again, I am not joking, I have said to Todd multiple times since Sunday, "Jack is dead. I can't believe it." His response? Looking at me like I have lost my ever loving mind. Whatever, he is a LOST fan too.

2. School's out. Ooofff. Well, for Alyssa, tomorrow Harrison. I cannot tell you how much I love their teachers. Here is a way to show you, I love them more than LOST. I am going to miss dropping my kids off into their capable hands every day. Harrison will get a new teacher next year, and I am sure to fall in love with that teacher too, but still...Mrs. Workman is the best. I wanted to go to class with Harrison and have her teach me too. Alyssa will go back to preschool next year to her great teachers. The only downfall is how teary I will be when it is time to move on to Kinder. Alyssa will have been in her class for almost three years by then. I am not sad about spending days on end with them this summer, I will just miss their great teachers.

3. Well, now my biggest reason for an Ooofff. I have recently been told I have a chronic health issue. Remember a few posts back about not exercising and losing weight? Guess what causes that? Hyperthyroidism. Now, before this, I would often hear of a person with this and think wow, I wish I had that too. Well, be careful for what you wish for.

Although not a serious disease if treated, it is still very scary to me. I have been given some drugs from my family doctor - these drugs may in fact cure the hyperthyroidism, but you never know. What I do know is that these drugs make me extremely fatigued and all I really can do is rest. I can get up and clean the house in intervals. I have pulled my phone off the hook so that I can nap! I am that tired! Maybe I should start watching LOST all over again since I am ordered to take it easy. Maybe this isn't such bad news after all! Wait, no it is.

I have heard that in a few weeks I will feel better with the anti-thyroid drugs - the side effects will lessen. I can even start to slowly work out again at this time. I am so upset because I was planning on training for another marathon next fall and now my goals are not attainable in the near future. I do have an appointment with a specialist in August. August? Yeah, apparently thyroid issues are rampant. The specialist will be able to see if the anti-thyroid drugs did enough to help me, or will decide if I need RAI - radio active iodine, or surgery. I am really hoping these drugs will work!

I can count my blessings though knowing that I have insurance and can get into a doctor at all. Also, I love my family doctor. What doctor nowadays says to call him at home if I have any questions whatsoever? It is very thoughtful and makes me want to cry. I feel like I am being well taken care of. But still, Ooofff, this one hurts.

So, will I be like Harrison and get back up and keep on truckin'? I certainly plan to, even when I want to cry instead. I have an excellent example. How awesome is it that I can look up to my 7 year old?

The Help

"The Help", by KathrynStockett merits a 10 out 10 rating, according to me. Based in Jackson, Mississippi during the 1960s, Stockett makes you feel like you are right there with dear Skeeter, ferocious Minny, and lovable Aibileen as they conduct their secret project in this dangerous town. If you like the Ya Yas, or Fried Green Tomatoes, you'll love this book too. In fact, you may enjoy this book even better.





This book resonates with me because of my family history. Most people wouldn't know, but I have deep roots in the South. My Mama was born in Taledagea, Alabama in the late 1950s, her family moved years later to Charleston, South Carolina. As a young girl I heard stories about Mama's life "back home". My Grandma, a white women origanally from Chicago, was very anti-establishment. She was in her mid-40s, it was the 1950's, in racially divided Alabama when she adopted not one, but two Japanese children, one of them being my mother. It doesn't get more anti-establishment than that.





Growing up, Grandma did have Black "help". There was Estelle. She came to my Grandma's three days a week. She scrubbed the floors, bathtub, and walls. She cleaned the house top to bottom. She had been doing this work for years by the time my family employed her. There was, however, one major difference between those other employers and my Grandma. Grandma was right there beside Estelle scrubbing, cleaning, shopping, everything. My Mama has memories of them scrubbing the kitchen floor, on their knees, side by side. Scrub, scrub, scrub. That is how it always was. Grandma did her job, with her "help". Estelle wasn't cheap labor, she was family. Estelle once told my Grandma, "No other white women has ever treated me this way, ever."



Mama started dance lessons at a young age. One day as Grandma and Estelle walked the city's street to take Mama to her studio, a civil rights march passed right by them. Estelle noticed that her teenage son was participating, and pushing past the crowd, she grabbed him and dragged him away from the other protesters. She forbade him from participating. She didn't do this because she was against civil rights, she did it to protect her precious son. What a very dangerous time my mother lived in, and despite her childhood innocence, she noticed the tension that seized the region.




My Grandfather, after retiring from a distinguished military position, started a small landscaping business. He employed a young Black man to help him. Mama remembers the two eating lunch together at their kitchen table regularly. So, when she noticed things around town, like separate water fountains, she was confused. Her parents explained that not everybody recognized how wrong it was to treat others like that. They instructed her to treat everyone with respect and kindness, regardless of race. She has always followed their advice and example and instilled it in me.





I know my grandparents are not the only ones who treated their employees well. I do think they might be in the minority though. Most people treated their help and other people of their race terribly because that was just the way it was back then. Or even worse, they despised people just because of the color of their skin. Like I said, my grandmother was anti-establishment, she took no joy in following inane social views. Both Grandma and Grandpa followed their own moral code - we each have one too, are we going to live by it? And not just when it is easy? "The Help" has urged me to be more courageous and stand up for the right things. Oh, and it is an incredible story, that is wonderfully written.

Connissier

Some people are really enlightened about the finer things in life, like fine art, fine food, and fine wine. I really am not. I have my reading (see previous post), I have my running/exercise, and then, I have my television. Yes, that's right, the "boob tube". I know all things TV. I should be embarrassed about this fact, but really, I enjoy it far too much to care what others might think. Television is cheap, readily available, at times educational, entertaining, and it helps keep me in the pop culture loop. The television is good company when I can't sleep and everyone else in my house can. I can also iron, cook, and clean while simultaneously enjoying TV. I do have standards though. I don't just watch anything, I am particularly snobby about what my flat screen displays. And we all should be a little discerning with what we allow into our homes. Which is why I am sharing my expertise with you all today, whether you like it or not :)...Here are some shows that have the Jenny Smith stamp of approval:

1. Friday Night Lights






Maybe it is the high school teacher in me, or it may just be Tim Riggin's smile, but "Friday Night Lights" is my favorite show, and in my opinion the best show on TV. FNL is more than football, or I wouldn't have ever watched it in the first place. I read "Friday Night Lights" last year, and while the book is non-fiction and an interesting read, the show is not, but is not at all far-fetched. Set in a Texan small town where football is "the only thing (they) got", FNL portrays characters you can relate to, struggling to ultimately do the right thing. I love the dialogue, the camera angles, and the stories that pull on my heart strings. FNL is one of those shows that my entire family loves to watch.

FNL is currently on NBC on Fridays at 7/8pm. Set your DVR, you won't be sorry.

2. LOST







Despite the fact that I detest science fiction, I am completely in love with LOST. It all started when the hunky Matthew Fox opened his eye, back in 2004, and I was hooked. LOST is equal parts mystery, science fiction, character development, and good looking people. There are also many moments of humor, horror, and heart. Basically, it has something for everyone. I think we all know that LOST is coming to a close later this month (SOB), but if you haven't already watched it, rent the DVDs. I will come and watch it with you and will be sure to bring plenty of popcorn and Kleenex.

LOST is currently on ABC on Tuesdays at 8/9pm.

3. 24





I started watching 24 last summer and found that I couldn't get enough of Jack Bauer...or Tony Almeada. Now caught up to the current season, I can confidently say that 24 is good TV. If you like action and rooting for the good guy, you will like 24. My only complaint about the show is how Jack is always, ALWAYS, the tragic hero. Can't the poor guy get a break? 24 is also ending this month, but I heard there will be a movie coming soon. The world isn't ready to say goodbye to Bauer just yet, and neither am I.

24 is currently on FOX on Mondays at 8/9 pm.

4. America the story of US




This show is the history of America from the first settlers to present day. It is more interesting than any history book I have ever read, and is clever enough to entertain and educate both Todd and I and Harrison too. It is especially great if you have HD, the cinematography is very beautiful. So, if you are interested in learning more about our great country while also being entertained, tune in.

America the story of US in on The History Channel on Sunday evenings.



Well, all y'all, there you have it. My very favorite TV shows. I encourage you to check them out when you ever have a moment to sit down, relax, and watch some TV. Enjoy! From my couch to yours.

My love affair of 2009

It is no secret 2009 was a tough year for me. Luckily I made it to 2010, with a little help from a friend. You see, I had a great love affair last year. It started at the dawn of 2009, when I didn't know the year was going to be so hard. It must have been more than coincidental that our relationship bloomed when it did, because when I really needed a repreave, I alreaday had one in place. This love was great in that it was always there when I wanted it and when I didn't want my love, it never came around. We traipesed along, two by two, almost everywhere. We lounged together near the pool, on the living room's couch, even in between the sheets in my bed. This love was rekindled last year, it's first kindle sparked in kindergarten and has burned ever since, some years it was ablaze, while others it simmered. Last year it was fired up! What is this love, you might wonder. It is not as scandalous as it might seem, it is actually really innocent. My love is reading.

I've always loved reading, I read my first chapter book, "Little House in the Big Woods" by Laura Ingalls Wilder, in kindergarten. "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" by C.S. Lewis in first grade. I would be late for the school bus in third grade because I was engorssed in Judy Blume and didn't want to put her down. This fascination stayed with me through college where I took every literature class I could. When I taught school, it is no surprise I taught reading and language arts. I wanted the students to fall in love with reading as much as I was.

Reading isn't just about words and stories. It is so very much more. It is knowledge, experience, and travel. It is insight. It is empowering. It is escape from reality, which I needed last year. As a wife and mother, it is easy to lose yourself and your passions when you are supporting everyone else's. So, it was with great delight that I challenged myself to read 100 books last year. It was solace last summer when our reality was very bleak.

I read just about anything and everything, from chick-lit, to biograhies, to mystery, and everything else in between. It was so interesting to read non-fiction as I could see my life in parallel to great figures in history. It was also eye opening to read of other's struggles and see how they progressed from awful oppresion, like Jeanette Walls. It was enjoable to read Agatha Christie, even many years after publication. I fell in love with our founding fathers. I was shocked with Arthur Miller's, "The Crucible". I saw what the hoopla was all about with "Revoltionary Road", and "The Reader". This challenge expanded my world view, as some of my personal opinions have even shifted as a result from this exercise.

It was exhausting to read so much in so little time and so when 2010 rang in, I decided to stop reading so much. I pretty much stopped. But as time marches on, I get this itch to return to my beloved with the same ferocity as last year. So, even though there are only 7months left this year, I have decided to again read 100 books. But maybe, I will push it to 101 to top myself from last year. Since I only have 7 under my belt thus far, I need to get started!

Eight years ago today...

Eight years ago today, my life changed forever.
Eight years ago today, my naviete was squashed.
Eight years ago today, I learned that life really isn't fair.
Eight years ago today, I started to rely on my Heavenly Father more than ever.
Eight years ago today, I cried more tears than I ever have before or since.
Eight years ago today, I hugged my husband as he sobbed.
Eight years ago today, I started to rely on the Lord more than ever before.

Eight years ago today, we found out that the child I carried had the congenital defect known as gastroschisis. Back then, the future seemed so uncertain. The life that I had been planning on seemed to have slipped through my fingers. I was so used to prediciting, and then plotting my life until I got what I desired...college, career, marriage, getting pregnant. Everything went pretty much according to plan, without me putting my trust in the Lord, but through putting my trust in me. And then, the gastroschisis happened.

Those few precious months between finding out about Harrion's condition and his birth were as hard as they were wonderful. I had my moments of fear and anquish. Believe me. But, I decided to really start developing a relationship with my Maker. As I did all that this required, and started to see a counselor, I felt better. I realized that we are not in charge, as much as I wish we were. I felt better about the situation. Now, that is not to say that this was easy. I was fragile the entire time, but at the same time, I was gaining strength.

It is hard to believe that the Harrison today is the Harrison of eight years ago. He is so smart. He is healthy. His front two teeth are finally growing in. I give him random hugs because when I look at him I still see him in his NICU bassinet too. Admittedly I worry about him and Alyssa also and want to wrap them up in bubblewrap and lock them in the house to keep them safe. But that just shows me I forgot my own experience eight years ago. I am grateful that when this day rolls around I am reminded to be a better person, a more faithful person.

I don't know why Harrison did so well when some other babies with this condition have not. I ache for their families. I never take for granted that Harrison is here. I am grateful for the trial, and admittedly that everything worked out so well too. I will never be the same the girl that I was eight years ago yesterday. And I am better off for it.

Confession

This is hard to say. Well, not just hard, embarrasing too. I suppose you could also say worrisome. Well, worriesome to me. But I always worry, just ask Todd. If worrying were a profession, I would be the CEO. Back to the topic at hand, I have to confess, I am out of shape....she writes with her head hung in shame.

I have not really exercised in months. MONTHS. I have lost weight too. You know what this means, I have lost mainly muscle- not good. I went to the gym today. It was not pretty. I was huffing and puffing on the tredmill and going at a considerly low speed. AHHH! Not too long ago, I was jogging 13 miles at a time. And I loved it! Today at the gym I cursed the idea of even moving.

I am so devastated. And scared. And mad, at myself. Well, what to do? I guess I just got to get back on the wagon - err I mean treadmill, elliptical, or bike. I hope it doesn't take MONTHS to get back to running the way I used to.

Now, and this is the sick part, like I said I have lost weight. I am wearing smaller sizes. I like weighing less and am slighty afraid that working out will make me gain weight. I know it would be good weight, but that is how screwed my thinking is reagarding weight. There is another thought somewhere in the back of my mind that doesn't even care if I gain 20 pounds while working out again. Because I will physically feel much better if I work out. I hope this thought takes over.

So, here I go. I guess I will see how what happens with this body of mine. Wish me luck.

Spring Break 2010

This spring break was wonderful and jam packed with a lot of fun. This is the rundown:

Friday 12th - half day, had lunch with friends, hiked "A" Mountain with Brennan
Saturday 13th - brunch with the kids
Sunday 14th - dinner with Nana and Papa
Monday 15th - Casa Grande Ruins in Coolidge
Tuesday 16th - rode bikes
Wednesday 17th - traditional St. Patrick's lunch in Fountain Hills
Thursday 18th - Phoenix Zoo, girls night for Mom
Friday 19th - Lunch with friends
Saturday 20th - Cousin Skye's Birthday Party, Date night for Mom and Dad
Sunday 21st - Dinner with Grammy and Pappy, got souvenirs from their European trip

Whew, no wonder I am exhausted! We are so lucky that there are so many fun things to do here. The kids and I made a list of everywhere we want to go, see, and explore in our area. This week we barley scrathced the surface. So, I guess I am looking forward to Summer so we can continue to enjoy Arizona!

Only my kids....

Build the Whitehouse, instead of a sand castle in the sand box...

Would rather go to New York City, instead of the Happiest Place on Earth...

Beg their mother to go to the Four Corners...

Spend all of the contents in their treasure box to buy books...

Create a cellphone out of an 8 X 11 piece of copy paper, it's Verizon by the way...

Like to roll their eyes in the back of their head and try to scare me...

Are afraid to go upstairs alone, they have to have the other with them and the lights on...

Cut their own bangs, ok I think every kid has done that one before :)...

Cut out the mesh parts of the Pack N'Play so that their cousin, who spends most days with us, can get out of bed from his naps earlier...It actually does work



My kids may drive me up the wall sometimes, at least once a day, but they always put a smile on my face. I feel so lucky! All mothers are. So, what are some of things only your children do?

New Calling

As much as I am dreading the Pinewood Derby, I am going to love wearing this to our weekly den meetings:

Suns vs Jazz

Last night we had the pleasure to watch the Suns game with Todd's firm. We had great seats - in the nicest suite I have ever seen at the US Airway Center. We've been in a suite before, but this one was even better! It was huge! We had awesome food too. However, the very best thing about the suite is that you have your own bathroom, which all women know equals zero wait time. Sweet suite.

Too bad the Jazz won. Last time we watched the game in a suite it was the Suns vs Jazz too. The Jazz won then also. Grrr. Todd and I decided we are bad luck and if we get the opportunity to see another Suns/Jazz game in person, we will have to decline! JK

Oh and I have a new celebrity crush, Steve Nash. Go Nashy.

Enough

I am 31 years old. And througout the years I have learned that to truly be happy, I need to surround myself with great people. And I have. By luck, my kids are amazing..beautiful, smart, funny, and kind. By luck, my parents and brothers are some of my greatest friends. Now, Todd, I scouted him out. It was not by luck that I ended up with him. I knew what I wanted in a husband and would not settle for anything less. He is great and makes me happy. It is the same with my friends. I am somewhat picky in that area. I will not spend my precious time with fake, insincere people. That may be why I have only a handful of friends. But quantity does not equal quality. My friends are the best. I can go to them with anything and they will love and support me, not judge me or ridicule me.

So why is it that when I am intentionally hurt by insincere people, people in my life that I unfortunately can't avoid, my feelings are hurt?

I am trying hard to not let these "mean girls" affect me, but it is hard. Sometimes, my 31 year old self feels 13 instead!